Brave Body 14; Alicia's Story

Alicia Putinski | Life Coach
IG Handle: @weightlessalicia

 

In the early days of recovering from my eating disorder, I thought it was all about food.
My battle was a case of orthorexia that transitioned into anorexic territory,
followed by a big binge that lead to yoyo dieting for quite some time.
Initially I was aware of the external factors I’d been exposed to.
I acknowledged the poor body image that I developed as a young dancer
and how that mentality became a part of me for so many years.
I acknowledged later in life I’d been provided harmful nutrition advice by an unqualified coach. There were so many external triggers, and they were very important to note in the process of healing.

However things really shifted in my recovery when I heard this truth
“eating disorders are not about food”.

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A mixed bag of emotions flooded over me.
I felt resistant to this expression at first and slightly angry
because I was so confused about food!
How could this not be about food?
After working through the anger, I felt intrigued.
I had some soul searching to do and was determined to stay dedicated to my recovery.

 

The more I opened up to recovering on a holistic level,
the more I became comfortable with accepting all parts of myself.
In looking deeper than just food and body image,
I got to understand the nature of my ego.
When we resist the parts of ourselves that we don’t like,
we can’t grow and we can’t embrace self love.

 

One of the greatest lessons I learned in recovery is the value of true self love.
I had spent years being unkind to myself and dismissing my true needs.
In embracing self love I was finally allowing myself to heal.

 

After recovery I went on to become a life coach
and I guide others through self exploration in their recovery journeys.
I always remind my dear clients that self love is often misrepresented on social media.

True self love is not a matter of masking the complexity of our emotions
behind fake smiles, affirmations and highlight reels.

Self love is honoring the self in all it's forms.
Whether this be needing to take a break,
needing to express anger,
needing to have a big cry,
needing to set boundaries,
we must always check in with the self.

 

In recovery I did not only overcome food and body image issues.
I also learned how to let go of other things that I used to foster fear into
such as money, career, other people’s opinions
and where I thought I “should” be in various aspects of my life.

Freedom is a place where we live in humble acceptance of the self - mind, body and soul.

I value staying consistent with my self love rituals and I know now that we all have off days. However in developing a deeper sense of compassion for myself
I feel at peace knowing that I don’t have to take life too seriously.
I am allowed to just be me, and that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.