Brave Body 5; Jamie's Story

Jamie Moyle
IG Handle: @jamienicolemoyle
 

Have you ever become completely obsessed with something,
and that something took full control of your life?
Well, I have and that's where my story begins.
 

As a professional dancer at 4'11 I was constantly told that I had fantastic potential!
BUT
I needed to lose weight.

I was too thick and too heavy to book the job.
I was tired of hearing it
so I decided to take control of the hindering problem.

I bought a scale one day in June of 2013,
I told myself it was only 1,200 calories a day,
and that's how quickly the obsession started.

Each and every morning I weighed myself
The numbers that appeared on the scale told me what I ate
They told me how much working out I had to do.
This went on for quite some time.

It got to the point where I was only feeding my body things that were
"low calorie", "low fat" and "low carb".
I stopped lifting weights completely and just did cardio for hours on end.
I also started to envy "skinny" girls and girls with six packs that I saw on social media.

I would look in the mirror each morning and not see either of those things
so to me that only meant one thing . .


restrict more.

 

In 8 months I lost over 25 pounds
and the mental sickness at this time was so strong
I still considered myself thick.

The worst part you ask?
It ruined me.
A once strong girl,
it ruined all my relationships.

Holidays, family gatherings, and dinners out at restaurants
were all spent worrying about the temptations of good food and not a thing more.
9 times out of 10 I either brought a food scale with me or packed my own food.
This craziness made me miss out on moments, memories, traditions, and living in the moment. This continued for almost two years.

And the next four years?
I just went through the motions of trying to find balance
and a healthy lifestyle that I could stick with,
but also see results with as well.
I tried every fad diet,
counted macros,
intuitively ate,
got new workout regimens,
hired coaches,
but really . . 
I just binge ate a lot
which resulted in me hating myself and losing hope even more.

You know why none of this worked for me?
Because my mindset wasn't right.
I wanted so badly to let my bad habits go,
but I couldn't because deep down inside I still needed to look like those girls I envied.

I couldn't find a way to simply love myself.
 

In 2017 I took a few months off of working out and tracking food.
During this time I decided it was time to truly put myself first.

I wrote down all my goals,
planned how I was going to reach them,
and read a lot of positive guidance and self help books.

Fast forward to 2018; I am completely free!
I eat what I want when I want.
I workout for me. I am strong,
I am proud, and most importantly I am confident in the woman I am.
The number on the scale and six pack abs do not define me.
People connect with me because of rawness and uniqueness!

My message to you is this,
You are more than a body.
Don't accept that your body looks good, have faith that your body is good.
Understand that your body is your home, work to make it stable.
Understand that your body is your instrument that needs to be tuned and taken care of everyday.
Your body is not an ornament to be admired by others.
You must fully love yourself for true changes to come about!